


You Are Beautiful.

by push_it_hajime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:18:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8530966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/push_it_hajime/pseuds/push_it_hajime
Summary: Sadly, we live in a world where most of young people think they have to fit in a particular system or they automatically become what society has named 'ugly'. What's even more terrifying is that some people get 'punished' for being different. Oikawa is gay. Is that reason enough to beat him up and leave him thinking he is ugly, a loser and he deserves to die?I cannot express how much I hate the fact that people want to make others feel like that. But the best way to fight hate is with love. And Iwaizumi knows that. Iwaizumi knows that very well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm finally posting even though I'm still in doubt after my last fic got only 9 kudos. I'm glad to tell you that the sequel to my longer fic now has 5 completed chapters!  
> But I want to talk about this work a bit. When I wrote this, perhaps a month ago or so, I didn't really think much _about_ it. I didn't really realize that Oikawa in this fic is in fact _me_. But he is also many, too many other people, so if you know someone who could get something good out of this, show it to them. In this case I didn't really name WHY he got hurt but I think we all know it's because he's gay. But that's not all I'm talking about! Due to recent events in the US, I just want everyone to know that no matter what, no matter who represents your country and no matter where you are, what you are, and what you want to be ... As long as you have a pure heart and good intentions, I don't fucking care. You are beautiful. Don't let anyone take that thought from you.

♡ _Iwa-chan, can I come over? ... They attacked me again ..._

Hajime stares at his phone. He sighs. He's angry, upset, disappointed. He hates that he has to deal with this. He doesn't mind comforting him, not at all, he just hates the reason behind it.  
Hajime closes his eyes for a second. He knows Tooru's waiting. He knows he's staring at his phone and probably tearing up, too, thinking that even Iwa-chan left him.

☆ _Yes. Come over now!_

He doesn't know how bad it is. But he turns on the ice-making device just in case.  
He doesn't want to wait directly by the door so he leans on the set of drawers a few meters away in the hall.

He sees the blurred figure of Tooru through the thick window on their door in just a few minutes. Before the boy has a chance to announce his arrival, Hajime is at the door and he's pulling him inside. As soon as he closes the door, he hugs him before even looking at his face.  
He feels the boy's body shaking in his arms and he knows that Tooru's crying. He squeezes him closer, he wants to let him know that he's safe now.  
Hajime can hardly keep himself from crying, either.  
He moves after a few painful minutes. He looks at Tooru, who's looking away. He's not letting him see his face.

"Please ... I have to see it so I can help you." Hajime takes Tooru's face softly into his hands and slowly lifts it up.  
Tooru's still looking away.  
Hajime gasps. "Oh my god ..."  
Tooru's eye is blue, black, green. The bruise on his left eye is huge, covering the entire area around his eye and a bit of his cheek, too. His cheek is scratched but that's not all.  
Hajime looks down at Tooru's hands. He moves his hands from Tooru's face to his fingers. They're blue, probably from fighting. As much as he knows Tooru, he probably tried to fight back, or resist, at least.  
"Where else did they hurt you?" He looks up.  
Tooru's still crying. He's not letting out any sounds, but he's crying. He doesn't say anything. He probably can't.

He takes off his jacket, and his shoes, and he takes a step forward as if asking to come in. Hajime takes him to the living room.  
Tooru takes off his jumper and exposes his right shoulder. It's covered in dark purple.  
"Tooru, this wasn't just another attack, this is serious." Hajime tries to touch his shoulder.  
"O-ouch, it hurts," Tooru says. He doesn't even try to wipe his tears. "I don't know if they were trying to kill me or not, but ... They said so many things ..." He gulps. He can't get himself to say more. He just shakes his head.  
"Who's doing this to you?!" Hajime's even angrier. "I want to show them a thing or two on my own as well."  
"Don't," Tooru says. "They're dangerous and violent. I don't know who they are ... They had masks on. I don't think these were the ones from school, they were much bigger." He shrugs.  
Hajime has to take a deep breath. He can't believe it. Is he supposed to just sit and let Tooru suffer bullying from _two_ different groups of people? Not one, but two.  
He looks at him. He just knows that Tooru's asking himself what did he do to deserve that. Why him. He must be a loser, right?  
Hajime knows exactly what's going on inside Tooru's head.  
"Stop that," he says and takes hold of his wrist. He's trying to leave marks on his arm with his nails. "You're safe here. I'll lock the door and get some ice. Please don't do anything. Lie down, come on." He points to the side of the couch. He's telling him to lean his head there.

Tooru hesitates. He's scared and hurt. He doesn't want to lie down. He wants to scream and cry and curl up in a ball of sadness and die.  
"Lie down, now. We're alone, my folks won't be home until late evening, don't worry. Please." Hajime looks into Tooru's eyes. He's pleading.  
Tooru gives in with a sigh and carefully lies down, trying not to touch anything with his shoulder because it hurts. He closes his eyes. He's tired.  
Hajime softly strokes his clean cheek and leaves the room. First he locks the door, like he promised, then he goes to the kitchen where the ice maker is telling him it's done making the ice. He wraps it in two bags and while he puts on some tea, he goes to the living room and gives the bags of ice to Tooru.  
"I'll be right back to help you with this. Can you please hold it yourself in the mean time?" He looks at Tooru. He's worried.  
"It hurts ..." Tooru huffs. He's not okay.  
"I know ... Please hang on, I'll be right back."  
He quickly runs to the kitchen and finishes making the tea for Tooru. He brings it to the living room and puts it on the coffee table next to the couch.  
He sits besides Tooru. He observes him. "Did they hit your head?"  
Tooru pushes the bag from his eye into Hajime's hands. "No, just around my eye. It's ok, don't worry. And you don't need to call the police, either. I already filed a report."  
Hajime isn't sure if Tooru's telling him the truth. But doubting him now would be the worst thing he could do. He gently presses the ice bag on Tooru's face. Tooru winces and Hajime quickly stops pressing further.  
"Sorry," he says.  
"It's okay. I'm ... Thank you for taking care of me." Tooru looks at Hajime. They smile at each other. "Mind if I ... Uh, can I stay over? I don't want my mom to see me like this. I'm sure she'll let me stay if I ask her."  
Hajime purses his lips. He doesn't mind him staying at all. But he doesn't want him to lie to his mom.  
"You can stay. But you're going to tell your mother what's going on or I'll do it instead of you. You don't need to do it today, but tomorrow, when you go home, please tell her." He looks at him. He's asking him with his eyes.  
Tooru nodds. "Okay." He moves the ice from his shoulder and pushes Hajime's hand away, too. He puts the bags on the coffee table next to the tea. He puts his jumper back on and sits.  
"Drink this tea," Hajime says. "It'll calm you down." He pushes the mug into Tooru's hands. He doesn't really have a choice so he takes a sip. Hajime stays by his side the entire time, until Tooru finishes.  
"Try taking a nap now. I'll just put this away," he says while he's already pushing Tooru down to make him lie down again.

He takes the ice and the mug back to the kitchen.  
When he returns, Tooru's eyes are closed.  
"I'm awake," the boy mumbles. "I can't sleep. Come here, Iwa ..."  
Hajime sighs. He sits next to him. "Come here. " He pulls him closer so he's resting his head in his lap. Hajime starts repeatedly brushing Tooru's hair with his fingers. "How do you-"  
"I'm a loser." Tooru isn't really looking anywhere. His gaze is just fixed on the edge of the couch but he's not seeing it. "I must be. Why else would this be going on? People hate me. I'm a loser. I'm ugly and stupid. I hate myself, I hate myself so much ..."  
"Stop." Hajime pushes himself away. He shakes his head. "Stop, it's not true."  
Tooru sits up. He looks at Hajime. "Of course it is. I am a piece of garbage, the ugliest shit and I deserve to die. I wish they killed me ... I really wish they killed me today."

Hajime's raging up. "Stop it, Tooru, stop saying that. I don't know who did this to you today or why but I know why the kids from school are doing it. They're jealous, they must be. You're so beautiful and you're very talented, I'm serious. Please don't say stuff like that anymore ..." He scoots closer. "Tooru ... Please."  
Tooru shakes his head. He's tearing up. "You're the only one ... who thinks that ..." Some tears roll down his cheeks. "And I feel so sorry for you. I'm sorry you think that, Iwa. Because it's a lie, you're blind. How can you not see who I really am ..."  
Hajime bites his tongue. He clenches his fist. "Shut up." He pulls him in a tight hug. "Shut up, or I'll make your other eye blue, too. Stop with this bullshit. You're so fucking beautiful and I don't know why you can't see it. What about your fangirls? Are they blind, too? What about our team? They think you're the coolest. They all look up to you, even I look up to you and those ridiculous serves of yours. You are not a loser, you are a fucking king."  
Hajime breaks the hug. Tooru's silently crying. "Why would you let yourself believe that? Just because some _stupid children_ think so? That's their truth. What's your truth? I'm sure it can't be that ... Look, you know I'm awkward with words, but I can tell you one thing. Oikawa Tooru is not and never will be a loser. You're too great for that. You're beautiful. Please believe me when I say this. You're amazing."  
Tooru's quiet. He only starts crying harder as he falls forward in Hajime's arms. He's so weak, he's so scared ... He's so overwhelmed. He just cries in Hajime's lap and Hajime just pats his back.  
Tooru is so thankful for him. He is so happy that he has Hajime on his side. But he can't believe his words. Not entirely.

He knows that gaining his confidence isn't something that's going to happen over the night. It's a long process but he's happy. Because he has Hajime on his side, who he knows will help him overcome any obstacles.  
"Let's go to my room. Let's try to take a nap, okay?" Hajime pets his back and his hair.  
Tooru nods. "Okay."  
Hajime takes his hand as they go to Hajime's room. It's messy but Tooru doesn't really notice that. They never bother too much, anyway. They feel comfortable enough around each other to even let each other see what kind of a mess they live in. It's not like they're the only ones.  
Tooru's quiet but salty tears are still silently making their way down his blue cheek. He doesn't want to let go off Hajime's hand. He holds him tighter.  
Hajime doesn't say anything. He leans his head on Tooru's shoulder as they sit on his bed. He feels guilty. But he doesn't want to bring it up. It isn't about him. It's about Tooru now.  
"Iwa-chan ..." Tooru says. "I think you're my only friend." He leans his head on Hajime's.  
Hajime stays quiet. He tightens the grip on Tooru's hand. He doesn't know what to say. He's heard Tooru say that he doesn't have any friends. He's heard him say it many, many times. But it was always in that moment ... when Tooru wasn't really aware of what he was saying. And Hajime was never hurt, either.  
But it's the first time Hajime heard him say that _he_ was his only friend.  
Tooru sobs. "Please don't leave me, Iwa-chan ... I trust you and I tell you everything, please don't betray me ... I'll never betray you. I want to be your friend."  
Hajime lifts his head up. He looks into Tooru's eyes. He's crying. They're both silently crying.  
"You don't deserve this ..." Hajime shakes his head. "I'll always stay by your side. You know that. I don't want to leave you." He takes his other hand, too. "God, Tooru ... If there was a way to tell you this ... I'm really happy you're my friend, you know? And I hope you can be happy one day, too. I hope you can live a life that's different from what you're going through right now. You're a wonderful person and I hate to see you like this."

Tooru smiles. He wipes Hajime's tears and then his own. "Let's take a nap now, okay?" He tries to sound cheerful but Hajime sees right through.  
He still nods. "Okay."  
They lie down and cover themselves, in a hug. Tooru wants to feel safe and Hajime wants him to feel safe next to him, too.  
They don't fall asleep right away. Hajime refuses to sleep before Tooru so he strokes his hair and his arms until he's sure that he's sleeping. Then he slides into the land of dreams as well.  
They sleep for about two hours. It's already a bit darker outside when they wake up. Hajime presses Tooru closely to himself.  
"How are you?" he asks.  
Tooru snorts. "Great, amazing." He leans on Hajime's chest. "Thank you. I hoped I'd wake up to a stupid dream but I guess it's true. My body still hurts. But I'm not upset anymore. I actually don't feel anything." He hugs Hajime's body.  
Hajime sighs. "I wish I could prevent it ... Do you want something to eat?" He bit his lip. "I'm not trying to comfort you with food, I just thought you'd be hungry-"  
"I know," Tooru says and smiles. "Don't worry. Can I take a shower first?" He rises himself up and sits on Hajime's bed.  
"Sure." Hajime nods. "You know where your clothes are. I'll go prepare something meanwhile, then." He smiles at him.  
They kept a few pieces of clothing at each other's place since ever because they always had spontaneous sleepovers or visits. Even if the other members of the family saw them, they just tagged along. They never minded having them over.  
Tooru manages to move his lips up to something similar to a forced smile.  
"Thanks."

Hajime leaves the room. He doesn't know what to cook anyway. He spends about ten minutes just staring at the half empty fridge until he closes it and decides to just microwave. He knows that Tooru isn't really that hungry anyway.  
He waits for maybe two minutes and a half and he uses the time to prepare a table for two.  
He takes the dish out of the microwave, puts it on the table and goes to call Tooru. He finds him in front of a mirror in his room. He's topless. His hair's wet and his pants are set a bit low but he's looking at his stomach.  
He's pressing it together with his hands. He's pushing it inside as if he's trying to make it vanish. Hajime can see his ribs bending as well.  
"What are you doing?"  
Tooru blinks. He turns to Hajime. "Nothing. I'm not hungry." He puts on a shirt as if nothing happened.  
Hajime squints his eyes. "No, no, no. Something's going on. What were you trying to do?"  
Tooru gulps. "If I tell you, you'll think it's stupid."  
"Depends on what you tell me." Hajime crosses his arms. "I won't leave you alone until you do, though." He wants to make sure Tooru doesn't have any stupid ideas.  
"I'm fat." Tooru looks down with a frown. "I want to lose weight."

Hajime blinks in confusion. "I'm sorry, what?" He's staring at Tooru like he fell and hit his head.  
"You heard me ... I'm not hungry, sorry."  
Hajime's eyes widen. "You're ... Are you serious? What the ... Tooru, you're not _fat_ , what the fuck?"  
"Yes I am." He looks like he's going to cry. "Look at this, what is this?" He lifts his shirt up and grabs his skin.  
"This is ... a normal body ... You have an athletic figure, you have _abs_ , how do you think you're fat?" Hajime's confused. He grabs Tooru by his wrist and drags him with him.  
"What are you doing?" Tooru tries to break free.  
"You have to eat. At least a little bit of it. If you skip meals, it's even worse. And you're not fat, what the fuck?" He pushes him down on the chair.  
Tooru refuses. He looks away from the table.  
"It makes me sick." He tries to stand up but Hajime pushes him right back down.  
"Okay," he says. "Okay. This makes you sick. Then what? I won't let you starve yourself and call me whatever names you want. Do you want to die, are you crazy? You play volleyball, like, every day. If you skip meals, you're going to pass out. And you are definitely not fat. Oh my god ... Where did you get the idea?!" Hajime's almost out of his breath. His stare is intense and it's burning Tooru's skin.

"I'm ..." Tooru doesn't know what to say. "Okay." His voice is quiet and very timid. "Can I just have some tea and an apple now? I'll eat later, I promise." He looks at Hajime. His eyes are bright and he's pleading but he's also scared.  
Hajime purses his lips. He sighs. "Okay. But you promised me. You can't break this promise." He hugs Tooru. "It's okay. Come here, it's okay. I'll help you through this."  
Tooru shivers but he nods. "Thank you." He hugs Hajime tightly. "I think I'll never stop loving you."  
Hajime smiles. He ruffles up Tooru's hair. "Of course you won't. I'm almost like your second mom, aren't I?" He snorts as he takes an apple and starts washing it.  
"Almost," Tooru says with a bright smile. He's better. He's always better with Hajime.  
He takes the apple and he stands up. "Let's pretend we did this for your parents, okay? I'm sure they'll be happy."  
Hajime laughs and shakes his head. "You are actually so adorable. Dumbass." He messes up his hair again and he bumps his other shoulder. "Come on, I think there's some alien movie on tv tonight." He just wants to make Tooru relax.  
"Really?" Tooru's eyes shine. "Can we watch it?" He doesn't even bother to keep his mouth closed when he eats.  
Hajime smiles at him. "Of course. If you can look into my eyes and say 'I'm beautiful'." He stops before him and waits.  
Tooru's taken aback. He didn't expect that. He stumbles a little. He bites his lip. The apple doesn't interest him anymore suddenly.

"I ..." He can't get himself to say it. His eyes keep slipping away from Hajime's and he can only look at him for a second before turning his gaze away. He's shaking a little. His hands are shaking and he doesn't feel too good standing on his feet.  
Hajime softly takes Tooru's hands. "It's okay." He looks at him and he smiles.  
Tooru smiles back. He takes a deep breath. He feels a bit dizzy when he opens his mouth: "I'm ... I'm beautiful."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. ♡


End file.
